Ready to Laugh? Here are the FUNNIEST Yelp Reviews of Disney World Attractions

We love Disney World rides! YOU love Disney World rides! But let’s face it: not EVERY ride is for everybody. And if there’s one place that makes this fact abundantly clear, it’s Yelp.

What do the Yelpers think of the Mansion?!

Whether it’s an emphatic rave review or a hilarious takedown, Yelpers don’t hold back when it comes to discussing their favorite — or LEAST favorite — attractions at Disney World. Let’s take a look at some of the FUNNIEST Yelp reviews we found for Disney World rides! 

We recently took a look at the WORST Disney World restaurants according to Yelp, so now it’s time to see what the site has to say about attractions!

Seven Dwarfs Mine Train

Consistently one of the longest lines at Magic Kingdom, it’s no wonder Seven Dwarfs Mine Train can be a tad polarizing. Any ride that takes 80 minutes to get on inevitably runs the risk of feeling overhyped by some. Like Yelper Micah S., who is having NONE of it in his 1-star review. 

Long wait

“What? 80 minutes for that? If you have little kids, ok maybe? But this is not a ride any self respecting thrill seeker should be waiting for. Way way way over hyped,” they said, before taking the ride to task for its lack of Snow White. 

Where’s Snow White?

“I love many of the rides in Disney. I appreciate the artistry. I know it’s not all about big drops. But this is a kiddie run away train ride all about the dwarves which very few kids are really into. They are into Snow White. She is no part of this ride. Don’t waste your precious time here. Hit up Space Mountain three times in the time you’ll wait for this.”

Sounds like instead of “Heigh Ho” he’s saying “Heigh NO.”

Frozen Ever After

Some wounds never heal. Like the crushing loss of Maelstrom in EPCOT’s Norway Pavilion. While MANY guests love the Frozen Ever After replacement, others, like Kristi L., decidedly do not. 

Raise your hand if you miss Maelstrom

“I was disappointed in this ride, but that’s probably because they didn’t change it much from what it used to be before it was revamped to be a tourist trap for people who like Frozen,” she says in her 2-star takedown.

He’s no viking…

“Well, it is certainly packed full of robots now. The track is the same from what I remember. There used to be a troll at the end, but now it’s an abominable snowman. You still find yourself sailing backward at one point. I don’t know what I expected… for them to build something new and not just re-skin an existing ride? Shame on me, I guess.” OUCH. 

The Haunted Mansion

One of the most iconic and beloved attractions in all of Disney World, The Haunted Mansion has hordes of loyal fans. It also has some folks who are more “meh” on the manor. 

Come for the cobwebs!

In his middling 3-star review, Michael A. puts it bluntly: “This was an nice ride through spider webs, ghosts, ghouls and goblins. A few ‘scary’ thrills on the way.” Yes, Michael A., yes. We concur.

Flight of Passage

It’s hard to put into words just how enthralling and immersive Flight of Passage really is, but we think Yelper Libby L. does a nice job. 

Flight of Passage in Disney’s Animal Kingdom

“Imagine a combination of the classic jet ski/motorcycle rides at a Dave n Busters and Soarin’ but on steroids,” she says in her spot-on 5-star rave.

Na’vi River Journey

Then there’s that OTHER Pandora ride at Animal Kingdom, which doesn’t have quite as high of a rating average. In case you were wondering why, Samantha B. sums it up pretty nicely. 

Hop on a boat and get ready to RELAX!

“Uhh this is a ride??? Seriously. Nothing happened. It’s cool and immersive but you’re just going along listening to a song and seeing wildlife. Don’t we already do that walking around???”

This is fine

She also provides some constructive criticism that Disney could consider: “It could have been so cool to have seen some scenes of the cultural things of the Na’vi. It was pretty but not worth riding ever again.” 2 stars.

Peter Pan’s Flight

The cute queue for Peter Pan’s Flight is as adored for many as the nostalgic ride itself. It’s especially great for families and kids delighted by pixie dust. But keep in mind that it can be a LOT. 

Peter Pan’s Flight queue is kinda extra

“In standby you’ll enjoy being inside the Darlings room and Tinkerbell comes to visit, opening drawers and activating toys,” says Lorie L. in her straightforward 3-star review, before a funny word of warning. “You can also play shadow bells – be mentally prepared since everyone else will hit them too!”

Rock ’n’ Roller Coaster

It sounds like Corella D. went on a JOURNEY with Rock ’n’ Roller Coaster in Disney’s Hollywood Studios, and girl, we feel you. 

Brace yourself

“Let’s first say that I’m not a morning person,” she starts, before continuing her emotional 3-star saga. “Why on earth I got fast passes for this in the AM, I don’t know. This is not a tame ride. It’s fast. I had no idea which way it was going next being in the dark. I try things like this from time to time to see if my 47 year old self can handle it. Then I’m reminded yet again, no I cannot.” 

Can you handle it?

It’s honestly a little surprising she rated it so highly, considering she puts it in the “never again” category: “I had my eyes closed almost the entire time and prayed for it to be over basically the entire time. I’m sure it’s great for the thrill seekers, but for me it goes directly in the never again category.”

Test Track

Test Track is not only a fan favorite at EPCOT, but it’s also the secret to a happy marriage! 

High speed thrills coming your way!

“Even my wife, who normally gets sick on rides like this found it to be fun!” proclaims Richard R. in his 5-star review. “After 19 years of marriage I discovered she can handle the speed, it’s loops and upside down spins that get her.” Here’s to 19 more years of matrimony and Test Track fun! 

Dinosaur

Don’t tell her aunt, but Courtney H. loves seeing her scream. In her decent 3-star review of Dinosaur, she expresses mild interest in the attraction, but a full-on rave for one particular moment. 

Get ready to scream

“This ride is pretty neat, it kinda jerks you around a lot though. It reminds me of the Indiana Jones ride at DisneyLand! There’s one part where a dinosaur is running through the jungle and it looks like it’s coming right at us and my Aunt screamed so loud. That’s probably my favorite part.” (Yeah, Courtney H….that Carnotaurus gets us too. Every. Time.)

Pirates of the Caribbean

We’re applauding the pithy pirate wordplay from Pravash M., who rated Magic Kingdom’s Pirates of the Caribbean with a so-so 3-star review. 

Yo ho hold up!

“Yo ho hold up, that’s a long line for a slow moving boat cruise through scenes of animatronics playing ‘where’s Jack Sparrow?’” he says. “Not a terrible escape if it’s hot outside (or rainy).” Truth!

Space Mountain

Thomas P. is here with the fun facts for Space Mountain…and some comforting reassurance! 

Watch your head

“Did you know that it only goes 35mph and the max drop is 26 feet? It’s a very small coaster!” he says. “I do always feel I’m going to get decapitated but I saw how they test the ride to ensure you can’t!” 4 stars for lack of decapitation. I mean, there’s always that, right? LOL

Space Mountain Vehicle

Good or bad or somewhere in the middle, Yelp reviews of Disney World attractions do NOT hold back, and we’re here for it! 

10 Things You Never Knew About Your Favorite Disney Rides

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Which Disney World ride deserves a 1-star rating? Let us know in the comments!

The post Ready to Laugh? Here are the FUNNIEST Yelp Reviews of Disney World Attractions first appeared on the disney food blog.

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